This American Life.

I walked out into the field and inhaled the cold crisp air. I closed my eyes and let myself fall into a day dream. I was alone on a mountain in an unknown place. There were no signs of people or civilization in any direction I looked. The air was still and cold. I opened my eyes. Lily was running in the field chasing after a Frisbee I had thrown, she retrieved it and started running back towards me. I went through a mental checklist of all the things I needed done by day's end. 1. Send out resumes, 2. Bring car in to get oil changed, 3. Go to bank and make deposit, 4. Job interview at 3:00, 5. Pick up food for dinner. I exhaled and watched my breath rise up into the air.

I have written about 4 drafts for this blog entry and decided that I do not know what to say. Being back home is hard and readjusting to the American life is harder. Ive spent the past three years living a lifestyle that is very counter-culture. Whenever I need to come back on track to "reality" I go through somewhat of a post-adventure depression. My heart wants to be free. I want to be in the mountains without having to worry about meaningless things like paying bills. Maybe I am just a dreamer and maybe there is no going back.

I took a quick trip down to Pennsylvania over the weekend to go to the PA Ruck, which is a gathering of former AT Thru-Hikers and dreamers. Being around so many people who live a similar lifestyle with the same dreams gave me comfort and motivation to work towards the next adventure in life. But for now its back to American Life.

I will start working again soon while living with my family in Massachusetts, though I will be making some major decisions over the next few months. I have some interesting work opportunities that could land me living somewhere new and exciting by the spring. I will write more about that when I know more.

I am going to try and write an entry about once a week. Writings will sometimes be personal, though I am hoping to get a different kind of content than I have before, wait and see! Also, I am working on launching a new site all together with a lot more info on some of my hiking experiences.

related links: pa ruck, appalachian trail, new casey profile.

Saying Goodbye.

The Boeing 747 taxied to the runway and I could see the Boudanath Stupa off in the distance, a place I visited just a few days earlier with Pranita. Just past the fences of the small Kathmandu airport the busy streets of the city could still be seen. The flight attendants were at the front giving safety procedures. The plane sped down the runway and took off. As soon as we were in the sky I looked out the window to see the Himalayas crystal clear, a rare sight from Kathmandu due to the air pollution. I stared at the massive wall of mountains as they got smaller and eventually out of site. I took a deep breath and said a silent goodbye to Nepal.

My last week in Kathmandu was spent busily running around the city to try and say goodbye to all of my new found friends and to shop for gifts for all my friends back home. The process of making deals and haggling over prices helped me to detach from the sadness of having to leave. I toyed with the idea of extending my flight back home, but knew that I really didn’t have the money. Everyday I met with a different friend, though I was pressured to see some more than once. Most everyone had the same questions. “When will you return to Nepal?” “Will you forget us?” I gave out my contact information, and promised them that I could never forget this place, and I promised to one day return.

My friend Pranita who became quite close during my last month in Nepal invited me one day to Boudanath. I was busy trying to get my shopping done, but decided to take the afternoon off to see her again. We arrived at the temple in mid afternoon when everyone comes to pray. It was very crowded, but amazing at how peaceful and quiet everything was. We climbed to the top of the stupa and sat for a long while. We barely spoke a word and just watched the people praying down below. It hit me then that in just a few short days I would be back in the world of Dunkin Donuts and American Idol. We sat until the sun set. She looked over at me and said “we should go.” I just sighed and said “I don’t want to go.”

On our last day in the city I was able to see all my good friends one last time Nabbin, Suresh, Ram, and Sankar. They all had gifts and they all blessed me with a ceremonial katta (silk scarf), I had six around my neck when I left for the airport. Al and I said goodbye to the Monastery staff and our western friends traveling in Asia, and got a taxi to the airport.

Arriving home it was nice to see family again and to reunite with my dog Lily. But something just didn’t feel right. Bringing a journey like this to an end is not an easy thing to do. I have fallen in love with a far away land, that I hope to return to some day. Theres a lot back home that I will need to readjust to, like the fact that my Starbucks coffee this morning cost me more than 3 meals and lodging in Nepal.

Life is a Journey.

I walk towards the Himalayan Buddhist Center in the heart of Kathmandu after a day of teaching at school. On my way I am enthusiastically greeted by some familiar shopkeepers in Thamel "Namaste Casey! Tapailai kasto Chha?" I reply "Ektum ticch chha! Tapailai?" When I get closer to the hotel some of the street kids run up to me "Casey Casey, how are you? Will we have tea today?" "Maybe later." I tell them. Kamal, the youngest of them, I will pick up and swing him around a few times and then come back to the Monastery. The staff at the center know me very well as I've been living here for almost two months and will sit and talk with me about my day at work while we share tea. I check my phone messages and see that a few teachers have called as well as a few other local friends. I call them back and make dinner plans to have rice at their home. I am constantly surprised at how much my life here has changed from when I arrived.

Three months ago when I stepped off the airplane into Kathmandu, I was a bit overwhelmed. Nothing could have prepared me for the culture shock I received. Though it didn't take long for me to fall in love with the country. But still, I was a tourist and nothing more, I came to Nepal with dreams of Himalayan peaks in a distant land. I never expected things to turn out the way they did. After coming home from Everest prematurely, I didn't think I would enjoy living in Kathmandu for such a long time, and things turned around so quickly after landing the teacher job at Shuvakamana School. Teaching there became the thing that I looked forward to everyday. The amount of welcome I received daily from both the kids and the teachers made me happier than I can ever remember feeling. My friends at the school helped me improve my Nepali to the point where I can speak it very well now. And I've developed friendships that will last for a long time.

The day before I left for Chitwan was my last day teaching at Shuvakamana, I was very sad walking into the school not ready to say goodbye. I was touched when the teachers all came with gifts for me to say goodbye, and the students all made me cards with heartbreaking statements like "we'll never forget you" and "please never forget about us." I took a photo with each class and with the teachers, after my last photo it was time for me to leave. I said thank you to the Principal for my most meaningful Nepal experience. He stood and presented me with a gift then placed a ceremonial Kata (silk scarf) around my neck, hugged me, and then said "Life is a journey. Sometimes we come, and sometimes we go. Friendship never dies." This was very poetic for someone who's English is not very great. I walked away from the school my eyes full of tears.

The street kids and orphans of Kathmandu have become my new best friends. After Huff came to the city he introduced me to a few and it was soon after that I became their buddy. Now instead of begging to me they come up and give me all the local gossip about the other kids and shopkeepers. I will take them out for rice about once a week and have tea every few days. Its a nice feeling to know them all and also have all the inside knowledge that is denied to most tourists. The girls are my favorite, who share the juiciest of gossip, and take me shopping when I need the best deals. On Christmas we all had a big meal together, and each one of them gave me handmade Christmas gifts.

My Nepali friends have become really close and I will meet with some of them every few days. We'll either have dinner at their home, or we will go out for a walk around the villages outside the city. My friends who all have little money go out of their way to be hospitable and pay for everything, they insist no matter what I say, and its insulting to them to not accept. With my time running low here in Nepal, I don't think I have ever had such a busy social schedule. I am meeting with 2 to 3 people per day to say my goodbyes. Each one of them makes me promise that I will not forget them, and that I will return one day. Nepal has quickly become a place that I can call home. With only 5 days remaining I am not sure how exactly to bring it to an end. I think Principal Shiva put it best "Life is a journey. Sometimes we come, sometimes we go."

Safari in Chitwan.

I thought he was joking when the elephant driver looked back and said "okay, now you drive elephant." I jokingly replied with a laugh "okay, sure." I was a bit shocked when he handed me his stick and jumped off the the animal. I hesitantly crawled out of the safety of the basket strapped to the back of the elephant over to sit on her massive head and carefully straddled her neck. The feeling you get when you mount the largest land mammal on earth is not an easy one. The idea that I might control this beast was beyond me, and looking down the 10 or so feet below, I dug my heels into its neck and hung on tightly. She took her first step and her huge shoulder bones pushed up into my buttocks pushing me way off balance. I simply held on tight trying my best not to hurt the creature below me.

Al and I began our safari at Chitwan National Park by exploring the villages of the Tharu people, the tribal peoples that inhabit the terrai region of Nepal. The people here have retained a culture that goes back thousands of years that is tied to the jungles and grass lands that are found here. Agriculture and fishing is the areas main use, the landscape could not be more different from what I have previously seen in Nepal. It amazed me that the country that is home to the worlds largest mountains is also home to this vast flatland of jungle and grass. Most of of the countries crops are produced here in the rich soil and warm weather. We walked through the village watching the people live a simple life in huts made out of mud and grass, happily harvesting crops and chopping wood. Elephants would pass by every now and again with a driver and a load of wood. We came to the Narayani river and watched the sunset over the vast grasslands.

We woke the following morning at sunrise to begin our canoe ride down the Narayani river in hopes to spy some Crocodiles or rare bird species. We were joined by a very nice couple from Bangladesh. The air was cold in the early morning though the water was extremely warm. The water was quiet and many species of birds were seen on the banks of the river. The ferryman whispered something I didn't understand, everyone on the boat gasped, and I was disappointed to find out that a crock surfaced next to the canoe and I was looking in the other direction.

We landed the canoe on a remote bank down the river and disembarked. The Bangladeshi couple looked a little nervous when the canoe pushed away and started back without us. We turned to only see a wall of jungle in front of us. We stepped up the bank and into the wild, following our guide. A few meters into the jungle our guide stopped and turned. "There are few risks on walking safari. If you see rhino, run in zig zag. If you see bear, make some noise. If you see Tiger, pray." This statement was a little disheartening, and our safety seemed a little unsure when our guide presented us with his only means of protection, a four foot long stick. The walk was very exciting, first through thick jungle and then through the tall grasslands. Our guide was very knowledgeable in tracks and signs. He pointed out several rhino and deer tracks and scat, and we found a tree full of claw marks. "This is how tiger marks his territory."

We didn't come face to face with any deadly creatures, though we were startled a few times hearing loud rumbles in the grasses, never really knowing what was out there. The real adventure began after the walk when we finished our walk and climbed onto the back of a full grown Asian elephant. From an elephant is the only real safe way to see rhinos, as the rhinos will not be aggressive to the massive creature, and are generally not concerned with their presence. Our elephant stomped its way through the jungle our driver at the head, hoping to find some of the parks 350+ black rhinos. The driver moved us to an area where he heard some noise and sure enough we were lucky to spot two full grown rhinos. They were unfazed by us and went about foraging for food, and one took the biggest bathroom break I have ever witnessed. We watched them for a few moments and let them be. On the remainder of the safari we spotted several types of deer, but didn't come across any tigers. As it got later, we turned to go back to our lodge for the night. It was then that our driver jumped off handing the wheel to me.

The River of the Dead.

A truck pulled up to the edge of the river, the mourning families waited in line crying while holding handkerchiefs to their face to lessen the smell. A group of men piled wood onto the pire, and men were scavenging in the river below in hopes to find jewelry that may have been left on the bodies, without any respect for the dead or their families standing just above. The body was carried from the truck and placed on the pile of wood. We could see this persons feet out of the wrappings placed on the corpse, this made the experience real. Some family members walked around the body several times and placed flowers while saying prayers and stepped away. It was then that a man approached with a torch and set the wood pile ablaze. Al, Ali, and I sat silently as the flames grew and we watched the body burn in a cloud of smoke and ash. The smell of burning flesh is not one that is pleasant, and will remain with me for the rest of my life. This process was repeated again and again, as bodies came in one after the other, families waiting in queue like it was the D.M.V. to see their loved ones cremated. I don't think any of of knew what to say or how to react to witnessing this, and if it wasn't for the interruption, we may have sat there for hours. "Would you like to see my friend hang 90 kilos from his penis?" This statement drew our attention away from the funerals. "Excuse me?" I said. A ratty looking Nepali man stood behind us with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, standing with a bit of a hunch. "My friend over there..." He pointed to a Yogi holy man dressed in robes and painted in tikka "He is trained in advance Yoga, and can hang 90 kilos from his penis, would you like to see?" I thought to my self "Only in Nepal can you go to a funeral and get an offer like this." Ali Answered the question "Yea mate, I'd bloody love to see that!" "okay, for one thousand rupees each you can follow him into the forest and he will show you." "Sorry mate, don't want to see it that badly." We stood up and started to walk away, behind us we could hear the man yelling out lower prices in hopes to rope us into the show.

We spent the afternoon here visiting Pashupatinath, the most important Hindu temples in Nepal and one of the most important in Asia. Here lies very large temples to Shiva, though only Hindus are allowed inside. Outside the temple area is somewhat of a strange circus. There are vendors and sales people everywhere selling items for funerals, worship, and tourist souvenirs. Just 100 feet from the temple area is the funeral cremation ghats. Though nothing like you would see in the west. it is merely large piles of wood on the river where they burn bodies and spread the ashes into the river below. Dozens of bodies are burned here everyday. Just below the burning area there are scavengers digging through the remains of bodies looking gold or tooth fillings to cash in. It is an overpowering scene to witness. After walking away from the Penis Man, we took a stroll out into the forest and temple area to see some of the ancient architecture and statues. We explored the maybe half dozen temples and took a taxi ride home, not exactly sure how to discuss seeing dead bodies disposed of and men offering to hang weights off the penis in the same moment.

So Much for Peace.

I arrived at school on time and noticed that all the students were walking away from the building. A few of them ran over to me "Today is a holiday, you can go home!" I walked into the building to ask the principal what was going on, I was unaware of any holiday this week. Principal Shiva welcomed me and said quickly "you should leave now and get back to Thamel, there will be a battle today in Kathmandu, The Maoists are angry and plan to fight." Apparently there was a major disagreement within the Parliament last night and some decisions were made without consulting the Maoist party, and so they have decided to go against the newly signed peace treaty and fight. I left the school and got a bus, which was unusually overcrowded. I only made it a few blocks before we hit a barricade. The Maoist army had blockaded all the roads in the city and throwing stones and smashing any vehicle that tried to pass. People unloaded from the bus and started running frantically through the crowds trying to get away from the violence. In the distance I could hear constant gunshots. People were chanting and the communist flag was being raised by large groups. I pushed and ran through the crowds trying to get to a safer place. In front of me a large line of the Nepali army marched towards the main intersection where the blockade began, all of them armed with automatic rifles. I walked quickly away from the commotion and made it back to Thamel safely some time later. Though it was not the Thamel I was used to, it was a barren ghost town. All the shops and stores were closed and gates drawn, and only a few people wandered the streets. Not a single vehicle was seen in any direction. Back at the Monastery I learned that the army has imposed a daytime general strike and a curfew until further notice. The Maoists are acting in a way that will jeopardise their peace agreement and their place in the Parliament. After a few hours Al, Huff, and I walked down into Durbar Square to see if things have calmed down. And other than a heavy military presence, things were pleasantly quiet. Though there still seemed to be quite a bit of a commotion near the palace area. All Businesses continue to be closed and all roads are shut down. Things were looking so good for Nepal, and it seems it may go back into civil war.

Finding My Home in Kathmandu.

I stand on the street corner in the early AM outside the tourist area of Thamel awaiting my bus. The mornings in Kathmandu are amazing to watch. Shopkeeps are out getting their store ready, housewives are out buying produce, and children are all rushing to get to school. Buses are constantly coming pass yelling their destination and I wait for the one yelling out "MANAMAIJU BAHK!" This is the bus that I will take to work. My life in Kathmandu has taken a very interesting turn after coming home from Everest. My second day back I met a man named Rishi and had lunch with him and my friend Ram. We got to talking and I told him that I am to live in Kathmandu for another month and a half and don't have any plans other than a short trip down to Chitwan National Park. He thought for a moment and said "My Uncle has been looking for someone just like you." I wasn't quite sure what this meant, I just said "okay." And before I knew it we were on our way to Manamaiju to meet this Uncle of his. His Uncle, it turned out, is the principal of a small school just outside Kathmandu called Shuvakamana, and he was looking for a foreigner who was staying in Nepal for some time who would be interested in teaching English. I only talked to him for a few moments before I agreed to take the job. I didn't really have a reason not to.

Every morning after the bus drops me off, I walk up the street to the school, and as I enter the school grounds I am greeted with an enthusiastic chorus of "GOOD MORNING SIR!" The students at the school have impeccable manners, and always look sharp in their school uniforms. The school bell rings at 9:30am and the students line up outside in about 10-15 rows and do their morning exercises before being dismissed to class. My schedule varies from day to day, though I usually teach three to four classes. With the younger kids (grades 3-5) I will usually only play games and answer their endless, but amusing, questions about America. With the older kids (grades 6-9) we will do a mix of activities to improve their English skills, which can be hard at times, like explaining the difference between "sad" and "depressed". Though it is always fun and I look forward to going in everyday. Today I realized that I came to Nepal for the mountains, though teaching at Shuvakamana will be the most rewarding experience I will have had here.

After school each day I will come back into Thamel and visit with my Nepali friend Nabbin. We will sit in his office drinking tea while he dominates me in Chess, every time. I will meet up with Al and Ali for dinner (who are now back from Everest) along with some other friends we have made staying at our guesthouse. My friend Huff from the US is also in Kathmandu, who surprised me suddenly having decided to cut his trip to India short. My living situation has also been quite interesting, when I got back to the city I met a few people who informed me that I could come and stay at a small Buddhist Monastery in Thamel for a small price. And so I moved into the Himalayan Buddhist Meditation Center which is an amazingly peaceful place. The week I moved here a high Lama was living here and giving teaching and blessings. The monks that run the place are very pleasant and hospitable.

My life in Nepal has become so comfortable, that I sometimes think that I will never leave.